Up's and Down's

Ok so I have not written in a week but to be honest not much has changed. I have ups and downs in every day. When I am having ups I feel good but when I am having downs I feel bad for feeling good. Some one told me last week that they can not believe that I am being so strong. I am not really being strong I just try to not think about it. How do I do this? Not by being strong in any way. I sleep or watch TV. I know that I need to get up and start doing things but it has only been two weeks. Maybe next week I can begin to go through Reagan's stuff and put it away. I have decided to just box it up just incase we are able to use it again.